Forgot Gratitude
I put in my 2 weeks notice at work on Friday. A job I literally thrived for. It had been coming for a while. I thought to myself “ you're tough kid you got this” and would keep moving on. Friday the final straw broke and I put in my notice.
I was asked to come in and speak to the boss. We agreed to give it this weekend and I go back in Monday to talk to them. Yesterday was a relaxing day but as I wake up this morning I feel m6 blood boiling. Even when I was taking a shower. A place and time thats supposed to be the most relaxing.
Dont get me wrong, 18 people have recently quit before I had my blow up. Now the facts. I live in the states and these are such uncertain times. I have medical bills to pay, rent, food and other necessities to buy. Yes I have stage IV cancer and could go on disability but the way things are going in the states, Im afraid the disability route might either be cut or crumble.
I think my anger is shrouding my logical thinking. I have a job that covers my basic needs. Let's just call it a necessary evil. So I go in tomorrow to find out if I still have a job.
My sponsor early on told me when I was harboring a resentment, to make a list of the things Im grateful for.
Im grateful I have you guys to vent to when I am troubled.
Patricia, reading this feels like standing next to someone whose hands are shaking but still steady enough to write. You’re in a storm that no one should have to face: stage IV, a job that drains you, the fear of losing even the thin safety you have. The anger makes sense; it’s your body refusing to be silent while everything presses in.
The gratitude you name at the end isn’t small, it’s proof you’re still alive in the middle of all this. Hold onto that. It’s not a list, it’s a lifeline.
Love this…i completely get it…I’m here if you need to talk or anything.